If honesty is the best policy, then who’s to say when someone has overstepped their boundaries? It’s understood that words can be your strongest weapon, but what happens when that weapon is used for methods that imply more than best intentions? There’s a point in which the truth transforms into personal opinion, and when that happens what was originally stated no longer retains its sentimental value.

“No offense, but…”

One of the most ridiculous opening statements I hear on a more than daily basis is “no offense.” I’m almost positive everyone understands the meaning of those two words, and yet I see it tossed around the schoolyard in light of its acidic tone. Quite frankly, to state that your remark should not cause offense to your interlocutor is a pointless redundancy. If we’re all assumed to follow the Golden Rule (that is, to Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You) religiously, no pun intended, then every word, every syllable, should be spoken with pure honesty. Granted, it’s a lot to ask, but when has “No offense” ever been used to hold back a rude comment? If anything, it gives us an excuse to criticize someone directly.

“I told you so.”

If there’s anything worse than addressing the root of a problem, it’s admitting you’re wrong, and I suppose it’s human nature to deny it. After all, we’re so set on believing the only person who’s right is ourselves. But what exactly is this phrase trying to say? Clearly it’s anything but “I told you so.” Translation: I’m right, and you’re stupid for assuming I wasn’t. A friendship is built between two people who understand the mutuality of hospitality, kindness and sympathy. As a friend, our duty is to offer not just words that console their poor souls, but strength to overcome the issue. By retorting in a magniloquent manner, we’re only demoralizing them further. Counterproductive, right?

Going beyond…

Of course, there are those who completely disregard your emotional behalf: the ones who speak with a sharp tongue and a blunt attitude. And while I understand their position on the problem, I can’t help but question their interest in the situation at all. It’s evident that these people have low tolerance for such behavior, but lo and behold, not everyone was built with such impenetrable skin. Therefore, is what they say actually wise? Two plausible answers: yes and no, and I heavily lean towards the negative quite frankly because those that have the patience to listen SHOULD have the patience to give their input after deductive reasoning.
And perhaps it’s the simple fact that we simply hold too much faith in others that we continuously set ourselves up for disappointment. Honesty is no longer a matter of hearing the truth, but hearing words that will lull us into a sense of safety. And while I’m old enough to make decisions on my own, opinions of how I view the situation, I still find it important to hold kindness as a virtue. It’s simple, really. “If you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say nothing at all.”

Crrredit!